No, that can’t be it. But there is a certain human hatred of change, I think. Even the young, most flexible people that embrace change hate it. See, they embrace and love it, but only in certain fields. And there, they love it because it isn’t really change. It is still something they are in control of, after a fashion, or perhaps at least something they understand. Kind of like surfing, I’d imagine. The surfer doesn’t control the wave, but they can still ride it because they kind of know what it will do. The same goes with change.

And even old people like change, or at least embrace it after a fashion. Perhaps it isn’t as outward, but it seems the more crotchety and old a person gets, the more they look inward for the change to embrace. Their bodies, which have honestly been fairly stagnant for a while, are changing again, so that is what they have to embrace. And perhaps we are all like that. It isn’t that we hate change any more or less, we just change which change it is we are changing with. (Phew!)

And me? I guess I am starting to drift away from feeling like keeping up with computer tech and focusing more on publishing and writing, which I guess is a good thing, ‘cept my newfound change-love isn’t paying ye olde bills yet (although I am getting paid for some writing now, so that is a plus). So meh, change. But what happens when my old love and new love meet? What else? A big cluster of pain. Thus why I am writing this. I have a Firefly post to put into Tor as I read this, but Tor upgraded to a new system for putting blogs in, and I don’t want to deal with it. So I am putting it off and whining. Go me. Oh well, back to actually doing work.

I know that sounds cheesy, but oh well, I’m in a cheddar mood. And, in particular, a mood to wonder at the oddness of love in a world of science. Love cannot be tested. The very concept of testing love breaks it. To try and force someone to prove love hurts them, and anyone who has ever had an “if you love me you’ll . . .” thrown at them knows this. And to anyone who doubts love, here is a simple concept: if you doubt it, it isn’t missing in the other person, per se, it is missing in you.

And right there is where love and faith come together. You can know when you are in love, but you have to take it on faith the other person is. You have to take it on faith that the other person won’t hurt you or betray you. And, if you know that you cannot trust that person, well, you might not be able to control your love for them, to turn it off like a switch, but you can at least have the presence of self to take yourself out of the situation. If there is one thing I doubt, it is that anyone who knows your feelings and does not return them will ever properly return them. To think otherwise is a romantic comedy, and those are just works of fiction.

Or perhaps I’m being emo. But meh, everyone has the right occasionally.